Even In Death
by River Tam Kobb
Summary: Death turns out different then Shannon thought it would... Afterall, she’d never been much of a believer in reincarnation. Yet here she was.
1. Prolouge

Title: Even In Death (Shannon of the South)  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimers: I don't own LOST, I'm not making money off this. DON'T SUE ME!  
Summary: Death turns out different then Shannon thought it would... Afterall, she'd never been much of a believer in reincarnation. Yet here she was.  
For: Katy and Karen who I love very much.  
Pairings: Shnwyer with mentions of Skate, Jate, Shayid, Charlie/Claire, and Sun/Jin

Prolouge

Some say I'm crazy for my love,oh my love  
But no bonds can hold me from your side,oh my love  
They don't know you can't leave me  
They don't hear you singing to me

I will stay forever here with you  
My love  
The softly spoken words you gave me  
Even in death our love goes on  
And I can't love you anymore than I do  
(people die,but real love is forever)  
-Even in Death by Eveanscence

Shannon was the first to go. She was walking in the woods, on her way to the caves to get some water. She didn't really remember what happened. One minutes she was standing there, looking at someone she knew to be Walt, the next she was running from the monster. She never had a chance.

They found her at the bottom of a cliff, bloody and broken. It was a harsh way to lose her, for everyone. She was buried next to Boone.

Sawyer followed moments after, not that anyone knew that it was that close. The combination of a bullet to the shoulder and the strees he'd been through had gotten the better of him. He never had a chance.

They'd all tried to help him but of course it had failed. None of them were doctores. And Jack might not have even been able to save him. They only had a little bit of time to dig his grave. They didn't have time to say anything. Later, they would all go back as a group and say goodbye.

Kate's death was sudden. Caused by the Others, or so anyone could make out. She'd been finding fruit and they had all heard the screaming. She never had a chance.

They found her bleeding from the head and her neck was broken. Jack cried and held her close. What hurt most for him was that there was nothing he could do. He couldn't save her. Couldn't save anyone.

So it was almost a blessing for him when he died. This time it was a polar bear. It was ironic, he knew even as he was getting killed, that he should die from something like a bit teddy bear. It was sad, but it was real. He never had a chance.

They found him in bits.

Death was ringing on the island that week. Four members of their little island family lost. Jack's death hit the hardest, of course. Without a doctor it was only a matter of time before the rest of them died. Locke was next, then Claire, followed by Charlie's sucide. They fell fast and they fell hard.

But Death, it seems, had it's own plains for them.

"Miss Shannon, you still a-sleepin'?" The words seemed far off. Shannon's dark eyes began to open. She was warm and happy. She felt covers, warm and thick, all around her. But that wasn't right. No one had blankets like this on the island.

"Lands, chil'," the voice went on, and Shannon could hear someone busing themselfs al around her room.. Room? Yes, she knew she was in a bed and she could see a window with light streeming in. But how had she gotten here? "After all yer mama tought you, you still sleep all day like some white trash. Sames me to death, it do."

Shannon sat up, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders... Long! When had it grown out? She looked at the maid, and loked around the room. This was something very different indeed. it loked like something out of a western.

Her eyes fell on a few dresses, big and flowing layed out on chairs. "What is all this?" She asked, and surpised herself at the accent she suddenly had. "Where am I?"

"Miss Shannon, you feelin' aright?" The maid asked, movin' over to her. "You want I should call the misses?"

"Where am I?" Shannon demanded.

"In yer house," the maid really looked worried.

"No you stupid cow!" Shannon hissed. "WHERE am I? What the hell is going on!"

"Calm erself, Miss. Yer safe and sound in Tennesse. And you are on yer about t' go t' yer cusins weddin'. Chil, you sure yer ok?"

Shannon was not ok. Her eyes were wide and her face was pale. She was in the old south... sitting in a bed room in the old south. She had to be. There was no other thing she could colcude. And as she did, she fainted.

END PROLOUGE


	2. Chapter One: Southern Belles

Disclaimer: The ideas and themes expressed in this and the following chapters are not the beliefs of this writer, or this site. If some of the things in here seem racist, that's because of the time period that this piece is set in. Please don't be offended, as I think Slavery and racism is very wrong. Also am a Christian and do not really believe in reincarnation. There is a heaven and a hell. That is what I believe. I will be more then glad to talk about that with anyone who wants to. Thank you.

Chapter One: Southern Belles

Shannon was in and out of conciseness for the next few days. She would wake up and forget where she was and would ask, again and again, what year it was. But no matter how many times she heard the answer, 1860, she would faint again.

When she was awake, her mind was spinning. On the one hand, this world made prefect since to her. She could remember growing up here, in Tennessee with her mother, father, brother, and sister. She could remember everything about this place and this time. But on the other hand, she could remember the other life. The plane crash, the island, and she even remembered the second the monster had her. This memory sent shivers up and down her spin. How could she remember two times and two different places? How could that be?

The word "reincarnation" never entered her mind. She had never believed in such things. She'd never even believed in an after life. So this was so new and strange to her. She almost wished she could really just be dead.  
A week after waking up for the first time, she had managed to stay awake for more then five seconds. She sat in her bed, her blonde hair a mess of tangles. The doctor was sitting next to her, an old man who spoke softly. She had long ago stopped talking about the other parts of her memory. She didn't like everyone looking around at her like she was crazy. She WASN'T crazy.

"Well, Miss Shannon," the old doctor said, "It seems you are doing much better. Do you know where you are? Tennessee, that's right my dear. And this house? Yes, yes, your father's, very good. And what is your father's name?"

She almost shuttered at the idea, even though she knew that it was true. At least, it was true in this world. In this reality. "John Locke," she answered,

Yes… Shannon Locke. It was sickening. Who in their right mind would merry a man like John Locke? Well, her mother had given her that answer.  
"Very good, Miss Shannon, I think you'll be ok." The doctor said, packing up his things. "No more illusions or anything I trust?"

"No Doctor," Shannon lied. "Nothing like that. I do thank you kindly for helping me." She smiled and almost laughed at the way she talked. Tennessee... who would have thought? Every time she talked she almost looked around to see whose voice that was. 

"That's good to hear, Shannon. We were all very worried about you. I imagine you've just had a little too much at the parties." The Doctor stood up and nodded. "Well then, send word if anythin' else goes wrong, right?"

Shannon nodded. "Of course." She waved to him as he left then collapsed onto her back. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It felt so strange... yet, oddly comforting. This world, a world ladies and knights, seemed to fit her. As her memory rolled from moment to moment, she recalled some of the parties the doctor had been talking about. Big flowing dresses, laughing happy music, it made her feel like a princess.  
There was a knock on her door and Shannon sat up again, pulling the covers over her chest. "Come in," she called lightly.

The big doors open and her sister stuck her head in. Shannon almost screamed when she saw her. In stepped Kate, long black hair hanging in light curls. She was dressed in a large green dress that made her eyes stand out. (A/N: Here's a link to what some of the dresses look like. Just for your aid. http/ ) she smiled and moved over to Shannon. "Well, you are up at last."

The black haired girl seated herself at the head of Shannon's bed and hugged her tightly. "We were ever so worried 'bout you. You really shouldn't 'ev scared us like that. We thought we would have to cancel the wedding."

Oh, yes, that was right! Kate was getting married... Kate was getting married to Jack. The thought made her want to be sick. Wasn't it bad enough she had to deal with that relationship in one life, and now she had it again. "Well, I'm very glad you didn't have to." She kissed her sister's cheek and smiled.

An idea struck Shannon and she said "Jack must be glad to merry you. After all that time on the island."

Kate raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Island? What are you talking about, dear?" She looked very worried. "Do you want me call the doctor back?"

"No, no!" Shannon said in a hurry. "It's alright. Just rather tired. I'll be fine." She smiled, but inwardly sighed. So, Shannon didn't remember their life before this place. Was Shannon the only one? Would Jack remember? What about Locke? She hoped Locke wouldn't. That would make things very weird. "I am rather hungry, though."

The black haired girl smiled and nodded. "I've already got cookie sending you up food for you. Good soup and everything to make you feel all better." She hugged Shannon tight.

"Oh, you are a dear," Shannon made herself sick with the words. At least, the Shannon from the island did. This Shannon was being honest. It was strange feeling both things at once. As she hugged her sister back, the door opened. They let go of each other and looked as a small black girl walked in with a tray of food.

Shannon felt her heart sink. A slave... of course, she knew they had slaves. It was just hard to actually see one. It made her feel awful. Slavery was wrong; she'd always known that... at least, she thought she had. As the girl put the tray in front of the blonde, their eyes met. The girl was so shocked she jumped, causing the tree to almost fall off the tray.  
Kate caught it in time and slapped the girl across the face. "You useless thing! Get out before I whip you good!"

The girl yelped and ran out of the room. Shannon watched her with pain filled eyes. Yes... slavery bad. Kate was smiling again. How could she go from zero to bitch that fast? But of course, this was a different time, with different ways. She was different. And Shannon would have to learn to live with it.

She smiled at her sister and sipped the tear her sister handed to him. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe

The next two weeks were hard on Shannon. It was not easy to fall back into the habits of the south when you used to be a snotty little rich girl who had never even been in Tennessee. But everyone just thought it was a result of the fainting spells she'd be having, and took it easy on her.  
Shannon soon found out John didn't remember anything about the island as well. Neither did Boone.

Boone. When she had first seen him, she'd grabbed him and cried into his shoulder. The boy had been shocked but hugged her and told it was ok. It had just been a dream, whatever it was that was bothering her. But it hadn't. None of it had. Boone had died. And so had she. But yet, here they were. In the south, brother and sister who had never screwed up their relationship.

Helen, her mother, was a very sweet lady who knew how to run the house and slaves well. She had long blonde hair, Shannon's blonde hair. John would smile at her and hug her all the time. Helen always had a smile on her face. Shannon wondered if that smile was real.

Jack stopped by very often. Same old Jack. He had gone to school, and was learning to be a doctor. This didn't surprised Shannon in the least. Kate and Jack would sit on the front porch all afternoon. At dinner, Jack would talk to John about this and that, but mostly about the recent election of Lincoln. Shannon didn't listen to such things. Political talk bored her, and she knew ladies didn't listen to such things, either. Instead, she talked about the up coming wedding, only two days away.

Kate was a glow with wonder at the thought of getting married to Jack. She laughed all the time. It was a different side of Kate to say the least. "It'll be wonderful!" she kept saying.

And the church did look wonderful on the day of the wedding. Candles were lit, flowers strung across the wall, and Kate standing with Jack, looking perfectly perfect. One part of Shannon wanted to throw up, but the southern part of her, which was growing stronger and stronger with each passing day, smiled for her sister.

As Shannon watched them up there, the preacher going on and on, she looked around the room. She caught sight of Claire! She smiled and waved to the girl, who waved back. That's right, Shannon thought, we are half cousins here. And there was Charlie sitting next to her. Some things never change, even in death.

Her eyes caught sight of someone and she turned her head. But there was no one she knew over there… maybe she was just imagining things. It didn't matter anyway. She had just realized something. As she sat there, watching Kate and Jack get hitched, she suddenly understood that she was free here. She didn't have to worry about anything in her past. She could move on. Start over in a new world, just like she had always wanted. How could this be a bad thing? She would be able to move on.  
Or at least, that was what she thought.

END CHAPTER ONE


	3. Chapter Two: Enter the Con Man

Chapter Two: Enter the Con Man

Weddings in the old south went on for about a week. There were parties and dances and lots of fun things. The biggest party was the night of the wedding, of course. There was a big dance and a dinner, just like always. Shannon smiled and talked with the other girls during the dinner, smiling at the men and waving at them. It was all like Gone with the Wind, the only thing that was missing was Rhett Butler. But it was wonderful.

And the food! Shannon was sure she had never had anything so wonderful tasting! With a slight shiver she thought of the island and how they had had nothing to eat for so long. She ate a little faster.

As she did, she looked around at the people until, with a gasp, she came to one. He had long (too long for any REAL gentleman, said the voice in her head,) dirty blonde hair, clear blue eyes, and was built very much like a solider ought to be built. But Shannon knew better then to look at him like a solider, brave and noble. But it couldn't be the same man, could it?

"Claire," Shannon poked her cousin in the ribs. "That man over there, sitting to the right of Charlie." She pointed and Claire looked as the man brought his glass to his lips. "I've seen him before... but I can't think of his name..."

"Oh, dear, I should hope not!" Claire put her hand on her heart and then leaned closer to whisper to Shannon. "That's Jack's cousin! No, not from around here. A view miles south of here. He came last Christmas! Very rich, but under very mysterious conditions."

"How so?" Shannon whispered back, her eyes flashing to the man.

"Well, he never tells a soul what he does, so at first we all thought he was out of work, a poor white, you see. We thought Jack was helping him out of pity. You know Jack. But then he was just throwing money away! And he still won't tell a soul what he does! I don't even think Jack knows!"

Shannon bit her lip and smiled coolly. "Or maybe he knows and just won't tell! Oh I do hope he tells Kate! She couldn't keep that a secret for very long! What do you think he does?"

Claire shrugged and dared at glance. "Who knows? But I have my ideas." She gave Shannon a look and they both nodded, understandingly.

"What's his name?" Shannon asked.

"Oh! I thought you knew! It's James. James Sawyer."

Shannon's eyes went back to the man. She had been right. Of course, it couldn't have been anyone else. With just a few changes, he looked just like he did before. Only now there was sorrow etched across his face. It had been there before, she remembered, but less clear. He had the look of a man who had just discovered that life hurt. Shannon bit her lip slightly at that. This Sawyer was different... only slightly, but that slight different seemed to shift everything in both Shannon's worlds.

After dinner, came the dance. Shannon's mind quickly left all traces of the con man and focused on having fun. She danced with all different kinds of people, including her father, her brother, Jack, and a few other of the young men. And while it shouldn't have come as a surprise that she knew all the dances, she still let out a small "oh!" the first time she found her feet moving of their own free will, and caused the boy she was dancing with to worry that he had stepped on her foot.

It turned out that dancing came almost as second nature to her. It was easy, amazingly easy. And loved it. It reminded her of being a child and dancing at the Ballet. Only this was much more fun. Much more free.

About half way through the dance, Shannon found herself without a partner. She moved over to the side and watched Jack and Kate dance close together. She smiled and then looked away.

"Excuse me," said a cool, clear voice in her ear. She whipped her head around and she locked eyes with Sawyer. "Miss Locke, correct?"

His voice was still the same honey melting southern drawl it had been. And for some reason, Shannon felt her middle give a little lurch.

"Why yes," she smiled sweetly. "Mr. Sawyer, how good to see you."

"Oh, no reason to call me that," He said. "Just call me James. We are almost cousins now, aren't we?"

"If it is all the same to you," she said, her voice not leaving it's sweet tone, "I think I shall stick with Mr. Sawyer. It is rather what I have grown used to calling you."

Something flashed in Sawyer's eyes and then vanished quite suddenly. "Yes," he said, his charm coming back on. "I understand. I noticed you didn't have a partner for this song. I was wondering if you would indulge me for a dance."

She blinked and then smiled. "Why of course. Anything for Jack's cousin." He smiled, took her hands, and then they began to dance.

For someone as strong as he was, he moved very gracefully. He smiled down at her the whole time they danced, his dimples showing clearly. Shannon smiled back, but felt very odd. He was looking at her as if... as if he knew her very well. Which couldn't be. Not unless... not unless he was... not unless he COULD...

"Does it hurt to see them together?" She asked slowly.

"To see who together?" Sawyer's eyes didn't leave hers.

"Jack and Kate. I remember you had feelings for her--"

"What ever gave you that idea?" But his eyes flashed with that same light they had had before.

"Well, you spent a lot of time with her on the island and I just thought..."

They stopped moving. He looked at her and she felt like he was looking into her very being with those big blue eyes. "You remember the island." He whispered slowly.

"I knew it!" Shannon hissed. "I knew you remembered! I could tell! Sawyer, what is going on? Where the hell are we? What happened to us?"

"I thought it was clear," he said slowly. "We died. All of us. You, me, Jack, Kate... they must all remember the island."

She shook her head. "No, they don't. I asked them all, and they thought I was insane. Even I thought I was insane for a long while. But thanks to you, I know I'm not! But... but do you really think we died?"

He nodded and then started to dance again. "I'm quite sure of it." He said softly. "I can remember up until the minute I died." He sighed slowly. "Not how I thought I would go, mind you. And then I woke up and there I was. It was... well, it was strange. But then again, I guess I always thought I would end up back here."

"Well, why am I here? I've never even been to Tennessee."

"Fate is a bitch, Sticks. Who knows why we all ended up here? All I know is that this world makes just as much since as the other one does... maybe even a bit more." And his eyes moved over to were Jack and Kate were dancing.

"I'm glad you are here," Shannon said after a long silence. Sawyer's eyes snapped back to her. "Now at last I can talk to someone about that place! I hate to say it, but I think I'm going to have to start liking you."

"Maybe, but not here you won't. I'm leaving in a week, going back home. I won't be here again. Not for a long time anyway. If you didn't know, I don't have a very good reputation and I don't want Kate and Jack to be ruined before they even begin."

"That's a lie, Sawyer, and you know it. You'd kill to be in Jack's shoes."

"I already died. So did they. The way I see it, they were just meant to be together. Doesn't matter what I wanted back then or what I want now because fate choice them. And it didn't choice me. It never does."

His words stung Shannon and she looked away. He didn't say anything, either. And for awhile, they just sat in utter silence. "I don't want to be alone again, Sawyer."

"There's nothing I can do about that, Sticks."

"Yes there is. You can stay. You have to stay. I don't want to think I'm insane again!"

"How can I stay? I have nothing here besides Jack and he just got married."

"You can... oh... oh I don't know! You can... you can court me!"

Sawyer's mouth dropped open and he pulled away from Shannon. "What the hell do you mean, talking to me like that? I know you weren't a lady there but you are here."

"I mean it, Sawyer. It's the only way we can stay close."

"Why should I care if we stay close? I don't even like you!"

"Liar. You sought me out here. And besides, you know you need someone else to talk to about those days. About what happened there and all you have is me. Besides that, I always said you were a handsome man."

"I don't care! It doesn't work that way here, Sticks! It takes time, and I don't love you."

"When was it ever about love with anyone who courted? Look it's not like I want to get married to you, it's just for awhile." She took hold of his hand and into his eyes, begging him. "I just want--I want someone else to talk to who won't think I'm insane. I need to know I'm sane.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair; she smiled remembering him doing that on the beach. "Yeah, alright. But this starts to get complicated and I'm out. Now stop looking at me like that."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir." She laughed and moved away from him. He shook his head. She moved into the corner and watched him move in the other direction. Sawyer and her... She and Sawyer. It was... well, it was the most insane thing she'd ever done. But how else was he going to stay? "This better not blow up in my face," she thought and smiled.


	4. Making Plans

Chapter Three: Making Plans

It only took two days for Sawyer to come callling at her door. Shannon had seen him ridding in from her window and had hurried to make herself look good. She had no idea why she cared so much if Sawyer thought she looked good, but that didn't stop her from putting up her hair as nicly as she could. Not two seconds after she had put it up there was a knock on the door.

"Mizz Shannon," came her maids voice, "tere's a young ge'lman coma callin'."

"Thank you I will be down shortly," she sang back. She took a deep breath and waited a minute or two, refusing to run down to him, lest his head swell to two times its normal size.

He was standing at the foot of the stairs when she came out of her room. He looked up and smiled that knowing smile of his. She smiled back. "Good afternoon, Miss Locke," He said as she desended the stairs. "You look well today."

"Thank you, Mr. Sawyer," She said, giving him her hand to kiss. "To what do I owe this great honor?"

"Well, after the converstation we had at your sister's wonderfull wedding I felt I simply could not leave town without talking with you again. Forgive my vanity."

"There is nothing to forgive." She glanced at the door to the parlor where she was sure the maid and her mother were listening in. "Would you like to walk around the garden? It really is quite lovely this time of year."

"I think I would like that very much, thank you." He extended his arm to her and she took it. They walked out the front door and Shannon made a show of turning round the right side of the house toward the garden, making small talk with Sawyer about the weather. when they were sure they were out of earshot, he said. "I must say, Sticks, I didn't think you had it in you."

"Well, you know me. I can lie my head off any everyone would think I was telling the truth." She smiled. "It's a gift."

"To bad I can see right through your lies, right?" He shrugged and sat down on a stone bench. She lowered herself beside him and he took a deep breath. "I'm moving into the hotel about a mile or two from here. Tonight. And so I'll be sticking around. But you know that everyone will hate me for dating you."

"Why would anyone hate you for speaking with me?" Shannon blinked.

"I've seen the way Boone looks at you. Whatever happened in your old life is clearly coming back to haunt you in this one. You and Boone did have a one night stand back in the old days, didn't you?"

She gave his arm a light shrug then sighed slowly. "I was really drunk. I didn't know what I was doing. I--I never stop regreating it. He was my brother. I should never have used him. Maybe that's why clung to the first man who show interest in me."

"Sayid," he said, nodding. "Well it could have been worse, you know. You could have ended up with Charlie and had a whole big fun deal with drugs."

"Sharlie was on drugs?"

"Of course he was." He laughed as she seemed very attentive. "Once a gossip always a gossip. I knew the kid was on drugs the first day. He had those bags under his eyes and he would always slip out into the jungle. And then he gets "the flu." Yeah, I knew. I'm surprised you didn't."

"I've never done drugs. Beer, and stuff I could handle. Drugs were to extreem for me."

"That's surprising, actually. I was the same way. No matter how much shit I'd been through, I wasn't about to get into that web." He sighed. "We really got to think this all through Shannon. You do know what happens in about a year, right?"

"No... what?"

"Did you fail every history class you ever took?"

"Yes. Now what?"

"The civil war, Shannon. And we are on the lossing side!"

She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "I hadn't even thought of that! What are we going to do? We'll lose everything!"

"Not if we work it out right... I have a plan."

"You do?"

"Of course. I was a conman, remember? Actually, I still am in a way. But there is a major hole in my plan. The only way it works is if... well, if we get married."

"If we WHAT!"

"That was my reaction to the thought, too."

"I can't merry you! I don't love you! I didn't even like you until I found out you remembered, too. How could I merry someone I don't love!"

"Hey, I'm not falling head over heals for you, Sticks! I told you there were some hitches in my plan!" He sighed and shook his head. "Look, here's the way I see it. We can beat the Yankees--" He ignored Shannon's snort at his use of the word 'yankee'-- "by being one step ahead. I'll have to join the troups here. There's no getting around that. And if you don't play you're cards right, little rich girl Shannon Locke could be out on the streets."

Shannon made a small sound that resembled a mouse squeek. Sawyer snorted with laughter. "Don't stress, Princess. I've thought all out... well, I had. But you won't be able to do a thing about it if we don't get married. Your father won't let you near his money."

"So the only way I can possibly come out on top in this war is if I merry the only person who knows how the war ends. Which is you." She sighed and put her head in her hands. "I don't know if I can do that."

He sighed and absently ran his hand up and down her back. It was strangly comforting for both of them. She needed him. It killed her that she did, but it was the only thing that made since. He was... the only person who could help her through this. Even if she didn't love him.

Suddenly, Sawyer's hand moved from her back to his lap. "Big brother at nine o'clock." Shannon sat up and began to shit-shat with Sawyer, shamlessly flirting with him.

"Oh, Boone!" She smiled as he walked up to them. "You've met James Sawyer, Jack's cousin, haven't you?"

Sawyer stood up and stuck out his hand. Boone looked at it and shook it slowly. Sawyer smiled brightly. "Very nice to see you again, Mr. Locke."

"Call me Boone," he said sternly. "Shannon, mother was looking for you. She says she needs help with the rolls."

"Right," she nodded to Sawyer. "It was very good to see you again, Mr. Sawyer. I do hope we will meet again."

He nodded. "As do I. I think I may stay in town a few more weeks. If it's alright with you, I think I may call on you again."

She blushed. "I'd like that very much. Until then, Mr. Sawyer," she walked away, skirts swishing. Sawyer turned back to Boone and blinked at the look on the younger man's face. "Something wrong?" He asked.

"I know about you," he said slowly. "You best have the best inention for my sister."

"Believe me, Mr. Locke. I only want what's best for her." He nodded. "I must be off. Thanks for your time." He walked away, feeling boone's eyes on him the whole way.


End file.
